You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Drake has all the answers
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
