if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So much rum. So many feels.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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