I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
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soooo we both peed the bed last night...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
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Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I touched a dick in church today
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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