I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
