I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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