i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
