i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
