Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
