why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
