so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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