I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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