just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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