I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
