Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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