were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
