Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You ruined the universe
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
