I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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