The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
