It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
