Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
