is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
