I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
