sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
