I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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