everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
But theres a keg here and me gusta
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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