Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
