i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
