just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i dont even know how to be here
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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