no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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