If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
