My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm both gender and math confused
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
