Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
