id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
