are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
