I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
