hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
