I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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