Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
