new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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