omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
