I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
