Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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