tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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