So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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