I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
