Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
