"it" just moved
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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