i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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