Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I need to align my fucking chakras
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