Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
