I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
