Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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