Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Randomize
