Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
