Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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