my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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