Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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