I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
