yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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