their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
