You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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