I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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