So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize