addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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