Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
nutella sex= disaster
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
