its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
